The adoption process is long.  I’m not complaining… or at least I shouldn’t be, especially considering that we’ve only been in this process for 7 months and I know people who worked for 3+ years on an international adoption.  I’m just saying that it’s one of those things that you can’t make happen instantaneously.  Sometimes I wished it would happen instantaneously, but lately my perspective has changed.

I still want Sasha home more than anything.  Especially when I hear him say “Ya hochu uvidet tebya” (“I want to see you”) every time that we talk on the phone.  HeI LOVE when this photo pops up with a new message on my computer! is longing to be with us so badly.   And in those moments, I’ve started to think that this will not last forever.

We will not be in this adoption limbo decades, years, or even a few months from now.  This stage in our lives will be ending soon.  Things are going to change.  And that, in a strange way, makes me want to cherish the way things are right now.

I think of all the things that will soon be memories of the past:

  • Only being able to talk to Sasha once a week for 20 minutes
  • The joy of hearing his voice when he answers the phone… knowing you made a successful call overseas
  • Conversations filled with “what?” “repeat slowly…” “I am sorry, I do not understand” in Russian
  • Sasha’s sweet voice replying “It is ok” in English when he knows we cannot understand each other
  • Cherishing every spontaneous “I miss you” text message from him
  • Facebook-stalking every person and organization we know who might have seen Sasha, talked to him, spent time with him, or gotten a picture of him
  • Using the awesome “Recharge Your Lady’s Mobile Phone in Ukraine” website to re-charge his Ukrainian cell phone
  • Brainstorming ideas of how to decorate his bedroom, who will help translate, how to help him get ready for school, what new activities we can share with him
  • Frustrations and victories of trying to raise $25,000
  • Daily prayers that God will keep him safe and provide a way to bring him home soon

And when I think all these things will soon come to an end… my heart stops for a split-second.  My head spins.  This is all really happening. 

Suddenly, I no longer want to wish away these days of longing and anticipation.  These days of curves along our journey and raw emotions.  I want to embrace them for everything they are worth.  These are sacred moments.  I do not want them to slip by without any memory of them.

One day, I will be able to sit with Sasha, hold an English conversation with him, and give him a huge hug around his neck.  One day, we will have more photos of him than our albums can even hold.  One day, we will be telling him it’s time he pays for his own cell phone.  One day, we will be looking back with grateful hearts to all those who helped us fund our way for him to come home.  One day, we will be praising God for his faithfulness to bring our lost brother and son home. 

But for now, I will embrace today.    Even with all its frustration, anticipation, and deep longing.  I thank God for bringing us this far and I know He values every moment and so I will live to do the same.

…He delights in every detail of their lives.
Psalm 37:23b (NLT)

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